So, What's Africa Like?

Ho. Lee. Crap.  I can’t believe I just spent over 8 months traveling around Africa.  AFRICA!  What was I THINKING?  Call me insane, crazy, bold, rad, whatever you want, but it doesn’t matter because I am so glad I did it.  Talk about an utterly mind-blowing place.  Shit, I might even shed some tears when I leave.  It’s not as if I could call this place home, but the fact that a huge life chapter of mine is closing is kind of a sad realization.  This is an experience I will tell my grandchildren about….ok, let’s be serious, this is an experience I’ll tell other people’s grandchildren about (nat + kids = meh).  I’m now also insured against looking back on life from my deathbed and having nothing to show for it.  I mean, I could fall into a coma tomorrow and wake up at 90 and still feel like I lived my life to the fullest.

As predicted, leaving Africa is a totally bittersweet feeling.  We have sort of a hot & cold relationship.  The kind of relationship where you can be royally pissed off at something yet still have a deep love for all the same.  This is a terrible analogy but I’d even say I’m the battered wife to the abusive husband that is Africa.  Africa has beat me down many times, leaving me sick, sore and totally lost.  But before could I even think of running away, it comes and shows me incredible love and beauty that I couldn’t dream of turning away from.  

This place is not set up for independent travel, let alone backpacking.  All odds are stacked against you…except for the fact that (THANK GOD) most people speak (at least broken) English.  So it’s got that going for it.  Language aside, Africa is a place where it’s easy to point out faults.  Of course, coming from the sterilized, robotic Western world where 99% of our streets are paved and bordered by perfectly squared street curbs, we have drinkable tap water, flushable toilets complete with complimentary toilet paper and luxurious public services such as garbage removal, it’s easy to rattle off flaw after flaw once visiting a place like this.  

All the same, Africa has so many wonderful characteristics that it is equally as advanced and rich as we are in the West.  Granted, not from a monetary or economic perspective, but moreso from a humanitarian and environmental perspective.   This place really teaches you more about the world and yourself than you could ever imagine. 

Over the course of my trip thus far, I have written many a list reflecting on the things I have learned, observed and absorbed.  Of these, I think it would be worthwhile if I typed up my “What’s Africa Like?” list to wrap up my time on this continent.  Don’t expect anything too deep here, as these are just little bites I’ve spurted out of my brain at random moments throughout my trip.  Included here are the positives, negatives and neutrals, but all encompass the things that I feel make Africa Africa.

Clothing

• Women adorned in bright colorful fabric.  Make skirts, head scarves as well as entire outfits from it. 
• Women all wear skirts – cannot show the shape of their hips/legs.  Can see younger more liberal women wearing pants, but mostly only in cities and big towns.
• Everyone in plasticy rubber neon sandals

Family

• Women carrying huge loads on heads
• Children in charge of cattle
• Babies strapped to mother’s backs using strip of cloth tied at front
• Kids taking care of younger kids
• Kids and babies with sharp objects – knives, axes for chopping wood, etc
• Kids are tough – very self sufficient
• Quiet and tough babies
• No diapers – kids don’t wear any underwear – who knows how they deal with the messes

Social Norms/Behaviors

• Greetings are very important - shaking hands, asking how each person is and listening to their answer
• Super patient, super tough
• Very up front. If they are unhappy they will show it/say it
• No concept of time – “Africa time”
• Women pretty much run everything behind the scenes 
• Very religious – Christianity
• Homosexuality illegal
• Men hold hands to show friendship
• Inspirational names: Peace, Innocence, Blessings, Success, etc
• Slow walkers with the exception of the Maasai – known for walking fast
• Major support for family – if one person does well, shares money back with family
• Funny hand-me-down shirts – “I’m not a princess, but if the tiara fits”, “Coast Guard Grandma,” Mother to Be”, “I Love Balls”
• Underpants as bathing suits or go in water fully-clothed (women)
• Care for the dirt – sweep it, clean it, water it to prevent dust.  Probably just perpetuates the dust problem in that this erodes the soil and prevents any grass from growing.
• Handle-less brooms.
• Will wear pants, long-sleeved shirts and sweaters even when its 80 degrees out – school uniforms for example - perhaps 80 is cold
• Concerned and live life securing and protecting basic necessities – food, shelter, water, safety

Economy

• Massive poverty
• Roadside vendors selling water in bags, fanta/juice in bags, chips, snacks, coolers of glass-bottled soda you must drink on the spot, fruit, fabric, veg
• Coke/Fanta/etc in glass bottles that you have to return.  Sometimes get a deposit back.
• Serve beverages in plastic bags.  You bite the corner off to drink.
• Getting change anywhere is usually a huge ordeal
• Wandering livestock – chickens, goats, sheep, cows
• Crowd of streetside vendors run up to slowing buses to sell wares through windows
• Buildings painted as billboards, completely covered w an advertisement for Coke, paint brand, etc
• Really bright paint – electric blue, fluorescent pink, etc
• Organized chaos – markets, bus stations, taxi ranks
• Weekly markets
• Everything is a negotiation
• Hard to tell goats and sheep apart

Hygiene

• Hole-in-the-ground toilets.  Usually smelly, messy, dark and sans TP.
• Everyone litters – just toss garbage to the side or throw out the window if in a moving vehicle.
• Trash buildup everywhere – eventually pool it together and burn it later
• Dirt everywhere
• Must wash hands before eating
• Eat with right hand – nsima/ugali/pap; injera
• Laundry and bathe in lakes/rivers
• Put washing out to dry on bushes, trees
• Public urination (men)

Transportation

• Honking horns
• Tons of people walking along streets
• Random speedbumps
• Dirt streets
• Huge truck accidents – many overturned trailers spilling loads all over road
• Still use oxen
• Donkeys for hauling stuff
• Public transportation – minibuses, LDBs, pickup trucks full of a load of people sitting around edges and squished inside, sometimes singing
• 20+ people jammed in minibuses
• Crazy minibus drivers
• Leave car engine running all the time – even when filling up at gas stations
• Use rocks as backup brakes when parking
• Walking trails everywhere – main mode of transport is by foot.
• Cars have the right of way – WILL run you over after honking your ears off
• Piles of rocks on the sides of the roads – future leveling, etc

Authority

• Police roadblocks
• Cops with AK47s
• Bribery – “give me money,” “give me Fanta,” etc
• No photos allowed of government buildings, bridges, etc
• Corruption
• Immigration/Customs officials watching James Bond movies (Lesotho) or playing solitaire (Mozi)
• Many doing the job of 1

Entertainment

• Music – drum beats, synthesizers, all the same electronic pop & hip hop from America, Celine Dion
• Hilarious homemade music videos – people dressed in traditional clothes dancing outside somewhere followed by booty shaking women
• Love to drink
• Blaring bus music
• Everyone has a cell phone w/ a sweet ringtone – haven’t yet figured out cell phone protocol, however, and will answer it in the middle of waiting tables/taking a reservation/booking a service/etc
• Nigerian soap operas – cheesy & homemade, but people love i
• Blaring music from shops – competing with each other from across the street

Food/Drink

• Bland food options – ugali, rice, meat, sauce, spinach-esque greens, chips (fries)
• Bananas ubiquitous; mangoes, avos, pineapples
• Can’t drink the water, limited access to drinkable water even for locals – rivers, boreholes
• Huge yellow jugs for hauling water to/from home
• Coke more ubiquitous than water

Shelter

• Houses/buildings of mud, poo, straw, etc; some have to be rebuilt after heavy rains

Nature

• Unreal and changing landscapes – savannah, scrubland, high grass, forest, jungle, highland mountains, lakes, rivers, beaches, etc
• Amazing wildlife living in and outside of park boundaries.

Health

• Mosquitoes, bugs, and misc disease-bearing creepy crawlies
• Plethora of diseases, illnesses to worry about (HIV/AIDS being the most infamous)

Being a Tourist

• Dirty fingernails
• Dirt tan – wash away every night
• Tending to holes in mosquito nets
• Constantly asking if the water is safe to drink
• Excitement at seeing a multi-page menu to learn nothing is available but rice/maize meal and sauce.
• Staring.  People will stop dead in their tracks and stare at you as you pass
• Waving, screaming at passing mzungu; pointing out to the mzungu that they are in fact mzungu
• Swarms of kids watching your every move
• “Sister”, “sissy”, “mama”, “lady”
• Marriage proposals, “I wish to be your friend”, constant phone number, email requests
• Tons of questions – where are you from, what is your name, what do you do, how do you like it here, where are you going, where are you staying
• All white people are rich.  Treat them like walking ATM machines. If you marry a white person, you become rich.
• “Hello, give me money”; “Mzungu, give me money”
• Tourists are either so rich or stupid that they will pay any price for anything
• Much love for Obama
• Celebrities people ask me about – Obama, Schwarzenegger, Chuck Norris, Beyonce, Kanye, Stallone, 50 Cent, Tupac, 
• America = “Obamaland”

African Finale

WOW, the last couple of months have really brought my African travels to a surprising yet awesome end.  Between Madagascar and Ethiopia I’ve been blown away at how cool these two places are.  I’d go so far as to say they are my 2 favorites.  When I say this, I am considering the whole of each country and not just specific landmarks or sites within them.  Because if I ranked my favorite sites, the list would look a bit different. 

Having said that I am feeling guilty that Rwanda, Tanzania, Malawi, Namibia, Uganda, Kenya, Mozambique and South Africa (in no particular order) got bumped down.  And of course Swaziland, Botswana, Zambia, Zimbabwe and Lesotho are feeling like the kid that always got picked last in gym class.  

To be fair, Madagascar doesn’t really consider itself part of Africa, and Ethiopia -- as far as sub-Saharan Africa goes -- is so un-African that I can’t really count it in my “favorite African countries” list.  Moreover, I honestly didn’t max out my travels throughout Botswana, Lesotho, Zim and Zam like I did the other places so they are naturally going to get the shaft.

I didn’t intend for this blog to be a ranking of any kind, but I’ve obviously started spiraling, so I might as well finish it off.  So, yeah, leaving Maddy and Ethio out of it for now, the standouts for me have been, in order of visitation: Rwanda (gorillas, people, history), Tanzania (wildlife, Zanzibar), Malawi (nature, landscapes), Namibia (adventure activities, deserts), South Africa (ease of travel, people, nature), Mozambique (culture, sea-life).

I just realized that I should put South Africa off on it’s own, too.  It’s been so heavily colonized and influenced by the West that it doesn’t seem fair to put it in with the others.  No offense to SA and I’m not saying you are un-African, but let’s face it, you are a bit of an anomaly within the continent.  Of course I am saying this after having been to all the touristified towns along the coast and somewhat inland…

So there.  I’ve played favorites.  Moving on.

Madagascar.  Talk about one of the most amazing places on the planet.  Hot damn I would love to spend a couple months on a bicycle riding across its length from North to South and East to West. Upon arrival I was completely shocked as I was transported to some hybrid Africa/Southeast Asia/India type of place.  As it turns out, the whole country is incredibly diverse in every sense of the word. The variety of cultures and landscapes as well as the fact that a huge percentage of its flora & fauna (upwards of 80% if I had to guess) are endemic make it one of the most unique places on Earth.  It is actually like a mini-Earth smashed into one island.   Madagascar is one of maybe (maybe) 3 places I’ve ever been that I’d consider visiting a second time.  I like to try new things, but with Maddy, anywhere you go will be completely new.   I could go on forever, but I’m in Ethiopia now and must ramble on about that for a while...

Ethiopia.  Wow.  I am so glad I changed my plans to visit this place.  If you asked me my thoughts on Ethiopia before coming here, I’d probably describe it as a famine-wracked desert wasteland.   Which could not be farther from the truth.

The first time I thought that this could be a cool place to visit was when I took a flight on Ethiopian Airlines with a layover in Addis Ababa.  Although I was a bit unsure about my safety in a place called Addis Ababa (the name alone sounded intimidating but I’ve come to learn it means “new flower” and who can honestly be scared of flowers, new or old?), my impressions were completely changed when I encountered the model-esque stewardesses, quality airplane food, beautiful, mountainous landscape below as we came in for our landing, bright, clean, orderly international airport terminal and some of the most friendly and helpful airport employees.  

Ok, fine, how much does 1 airline and 1 airport reflect an entire country?  Close to zero, but I figured if they take this much care with regard to their air travel they must be doing some other things right, too.  So I thought, “huh. This seems like a it could be a cool place.  I might have to look into it someday.”  Not until I met a handful of other travelers who visited and raved about Ethiopia did I decide to add it to my destination list.

And what a great decision!

This place is really cool. I have spent about a week in the south and 2 weeks in the north with some time in Addis scattered throughout. All are completely different worlds, I tell you.  Southern Ethiopia is home of some of the most ethnically rich African tribal cultures you can imagine.  The image you’d conjure up in your mind is exactly what you’d find in the Omo valley.  The fact that this region falls within the borders of Ethiopia seems incongruous to the rest of the country being that South Omo is SO very African and the rest of Ethiopia is so very UN-African.  Or shall I elaborate by saying sub-Saharan African in both cases. 

Then you have Addis Ababa.  The city of Addis itself is one of the most advanced, diverse and variety-laden cities I’ve ever visited.  Restaurants, cafes, shops, malls, museums, markets etc.  There is a lot to do & see and Ethiopian food is delicious.  Moreso they even have proper hamburgers and (gasp) Mexican food restaurants!  Not only that, but the coffee here is probably the best in the world.  Not that I’m in any position to rate coffee as I only became a coffee-drinker since being on this trip, but I can definitely tell the quality of the stuff here is excellent.  Mmmm the macchiatos especially.  Coffee is a huge deal here.

Addis is truly a cosmopolitan city and rivals many cities in the US, even.  At least according to me, but I’ve been traveling for a while so my perspective is different.  Coming straight off the boat, you’d probably have to work through some culture shock before really appreciating the city through the eyes of someone who’s used to it.

Once again I have found wonderful Couchsurfing hosts in the form of an Ethiopian/Belgian couple who have so graciously let me use their pad in Addis as a home-base as I travel between the South and North.   I’ve had a blast hanging out with them and their friends, too, between dinner get-togethers and hilarity-ensuing game nights. 

Outside of Addis, the southern region almost seems like a fantastical place.  Meaning it’s hard to believe people still live like this in 2011.  It’s wild.  And inspiring to see that such rich traditions and tribal life have survived all the years of Western conquerization…ahem…colonization.

Overall, there are said to be over 2-dozen tribes in the Omo region, numbering anywhere between tens of thousands to as few as 500 identifying with each.  Of these, the main tribes and the ones we visited with are the Hamer, Banna, Mursi and Karo tribes.  The Mursi are the most famous by way of their body-adornment in the form of elaborate scarification and eccentric lip-plates.   The Karo are known for body-painting and the Hamar and Banna tribes for their colorful fashions and hairstyles.  Each tribe’s traditions are striking and unique in their own ways.

We (I traveled to the south with a couple I met through my CS hosts in Addis) also ended up being so lucky to be invited to a bull-jumping ceremony, a rite-of-passage for young Hamer and Banna boys in becoming men.  After a ridiculously rough off-the-beaten-path off-any-kind-of-path-whatsoever-and-into-complete-desolate-African-bushland drive including a moderate run-in with an angry bee swarm and picking up a Banna guy we came across to show us the way, we ended up ditching the car and following the sounds of drumbeats, jangling bells and celebratory singing until we came across the location of the ceremony.  Being the only 3 faranjis in the general vicinity, we really felt like we were witnessing a special event.  Which we were.  At one point the group of 20-odd women swallowed me up into their chanting, hollering, jingling, dancing mass in which I had no choice but to happily and awkwardly join in. 

They even posed me in a ridiculous photo alongside them holding someone’s un-loaded rifle from who-knows-where.  I enjoyed seeing them use me as a novelty item and as their entertainment.  At least this way it felt a bit more even-ended since the whole “tribal tourism” thing feels a bit weird to me.   On the one hand I feel as though such tourism rots the culture insofar as many tribes will play dress-up for the tourists and the whole demanding money for photos thing leaves a bad taste for both parties…but on the other hand, tourism is a way to sustain such traditional tribal cultures as national and international homogenization come banging down their doors…err…come shaking their huts, rather. 

After a mind-boggling week in the south, I popped back into Addis for a bit before shooting up north to hit up the historic and former capital cities of Axum, Lalibela and Gonder. 

Axum
Axum was a major player in terms of the world’s most influential ancient kingdoms and was the regional ruler from about 400BC into the 10th century.  There’s a ton of history here, but much of it is shrouded in mystery. One of its claims to fame include the Ethiopian Orthodox belief that the Ark of the Covenant resides in one of the town’s churches.  There’s a whole story behind how it got there involving the Queen of Sheba’s love tryst with King Solomon and their son Melenik’s transportation of the Ark to Ethiopia with help of divine intervention.

Separately, there are numerous other notable sights including stelae fields indicating the location of ancient tombs housing potential remains of kings and their treasures.  Many have yet to be uncovered and excavated. 

Lalibela
My favorite place so far in Ethiopia.  A very holy place as the population is almost entirely Ethiopian Orthodox Christian.  King Lalibela ruled in the 13th century and set out through, you guessed it, divine intervention, to make the town into a “new Jerusalem”.  Eventually he, with help from angels (and probably a lot of silent human partners), carved 13 churches straight into the ground.  Of these, some are monolithic, meaning are detached from the earth on all 4 sides, and some are semi-monolithic, with at least 1 side attached.  In all cases, the churches are some of the most impressive historical sites I’ve ever seen.  It was humbling to stand in and outside of these works of art knowing what kind of pre-planning, manpower and flawless execution had to have taken place to create such structures. 

We were even lucky enough to witness the celebration of St. George’s Day at, IMO, the most beautiful church in Lalibela, Bet Giyorgis.  We woke up at the crack of dawn to join in with hundreds of robed pilgrims (well, local ones, anyway) in their at first silent and then escalating hum, building into a trumpeting, chanting, singing praise.  It was so cool to have been there to witness such an event.  Now, we all know I’m not religious, but this was definitely moving.  Not to the point of moving me any closer to organized religion in any way, shape or form, but I can appreciate the traditions and beauty in something like this.

 Gonder
Last up, I stopped into Gonder, the former imperial capital of the 16th-20th centuries.  Here I found the ancient ruins of former kings castles.  The Royal Enclosure being a highlight in which there are a number of castles, palaces, banquet halls, saunas, lions dens, libraries and churches, all of which were overseen by a series of emperors.  Who knew Ethiopia housed such stereotypically European medieval structures.  They were, however, heavily influenced by the Portuguese at the outset.

Gonder is also in relatively close proximity to the Simien Mountains to which I popped in for a quick trip.  Quick being a relative term in that the road leading there is on annoyingly rough and dusty roads, so any journey feels like it takes forever.  The mountains themselves are stunning.  Not only that, but they are home to the endemic Gelada baboon, which is an odd creature that looks like it is the product of mixing the DNA of a baboon and lion into a blender.  Weirder still is that they are 100% vegetarian and graze on the local grasses by sitting around and ripping out handfuls of the stuff and shoving it into their mouths.  Moreover, they make the most appalling girly wheezing noises I’ve ever heard come out of a monkey that size.  I was caught off guard and couldn’t help but laugh at how absurd it sounded. 

Though I wish I could have spent a week’s worth of exploring more of the Simien range, I had to get back to Addis to physically and mentally prep for my departure from Africa. 

So here I am, back in the capital with only 2 full days left on this continent before I head to Asia.   How CRAZY is THAT???!!  I’m already freakin’!!

Sheesh, I've really been going nuts with the long blog entries lately, huh? I’m even sick of hearing myself talk…I can’t imagine what it’s like for whoever is reading this rambling rubbish.