I'm from America. You know which one.

I might as well have the United States flag tattooed on my forehead because 99% of the time people correctly guess right off the bat that I’m American.  I always ask how they know this and I’m told it’s because of the way I dress (bedazzled stretch pants?), my accent (strong pronunciation of the letter R) and/or choice of vocabulary (use of the word ‘totally,’ etc). Otherwise, if I’m just asked “where are you from?” in general, I always reply with, “I’m from the US; from California.”  There are specific reasons I have chosen this particular wording, based on a series of trial and error:

A) I do not just say “I’m from America” due to the fact that I will open myself up to getting shit from people who will say, “well, there are a lot of Americas – North, Central, South – do you think the United States encompasses all of the Americas?” To which I would like to respond by Stooge-poking them in the eyeballs.
B) I do not just say, “I’m from the US.”  This will then elicit a knowing eye-roll and a “no-shit” expression being that this is apparently obvious.  They will then follow this up with the comment, “right, but what state?”
C) I do not just say, “I’m from California.”  This invites more shit-lashing in that people from the US are apparently so proud that they don’t even need to specify their country of origin before jumping right to their state.

Hence, I avoid all of the above by detailing my birthplace as previously described.  However, I have gotten shit for this as well in that I’m being overly descriptive.  So if the international community could please come up with a non-offensive way to describe where we “United States of Americaners” are from, I would love to know so that I may comply with your standards. 

Actually, scratch that.  I'm going to revert back to "I'm from America."  You clearly know which America I'm talking about.  Deal with it.