Sunday, August 28, 2011

Confessions of a Scuba Logbook

Scuba diving is fun!  Here's proof!  Excerpts from my logbook...

  • Failed narcosis test miserably.  Not bc I was “narc’d out”, but bc I can’t add 4+3.
  • Cage dive w/ great whites.  Chomped on cage in front of face.  Touched it.  NBD.  Ok, total lie.  EPIC!!!!
  • Shallow dive w/ pyjama and leopard cat sharks.  Brought squid with as bait.  They went nuts for it!  Crawling all over us.  We rolled them over, “tonic’d” them and hugged them like crazy!!!  I love sharks.
  • Total NatGeo dive.  Shark cinema!  Six tigers, 1 bull, 30-ish oceanic blacktips.  Begged DM to secretly let me stay down longer.  Came up with only 10 bar.  Stupid!  But worth it! One of the best dives of my life.
  • Dive buddy got attacked by titan trigger fish!  He totally freaked and pulled a CESA.  Dangerous!
  • Cleaner fish (remora) got fresh with me trying to clean my legs.
  • Holy negative entry! Sucked down 80 bar just fighting the current to get to the reef.
  • Lost my GD mask bc of shitty velcro. $35 wasted…
  • I <3 clown triggerfish!
  • No mantas, DAMMIT! BLARGH!  Last trip had 20...
  • Got the once over from a judgmental Napoleon wrasse.
  • Dive aborted bc diver caught in nasty current toward the abyss.  Diver from another boat lost for 1 hour. Scary!
  • Dive aborted bc diver (same one) swept off reef and ran out of air.  Blargh!  Hold your breath, people!  Sike, terrible idea.
  • Stare-down with territorial anemone fish
  • Holy mother of all moray eels!  Three feet around at least! 
  • I love me some crotchety old giant grouper
  • Sea snake! Heyoo!  They breathe air? Who knew? 
  • OCTO-MUTHA-EFFING-PUS!  Flashing colors, changing textures, so cool!  New favorite animal.  <3 <3 <3
  • OMG crazy fishball!  Would punch hand into it and it would dent and morph.  Cool!
  • Almost caught a lobster!  So frantic and goofy-looking.
  • New life goal: see a puffer fish puff.
  • Given an “American” gauge.  PSI and Feet versus Bar and Meters.  No idea how to read it.
  • Boring dive.  Entertained ourselves doing headstands in the sand, blowing bubble rings, planking the reef.
  • Full tunnel penetration...i.e. a swim-through a 60m cave/tunnel. Dope!
  • Anemone hat.  Turned around to see DM with an anemone on head looking like some rasta dude.  Never laughed so hard underwater in my life!
  • Cuttlefish the size of a giant football
  • MONSTERCRABS! ROOOOARRRR!  They even had tube coral growing on their backs.  Ridic!
  • DM found dying fish on reef.  I gave it my reg.  Shockingly, it still died.
  • THRESHER SHARKS, SUCKAS!  Tail as long as body.  Beautiful. Incredible.


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