Just being patriotic

There are some other Americans at our campsite.  Some of which are in the Marine Corps.  We figure they are here to scope out our next foreign invasion.  There must be oil nearby. 

I decided I'm going to go introduce myself so we can all join in on a "USA! USA! USA!" chant as is customary among groups of Americans.

Various Trip Shenanigans

Token American
I'm the "token American" on my tour and can't seem to remember that pants means underwear.  So any reference I make about my dirty or stained pants is immensely hilarious to everyone.

Unemployment tan
Most everyone else is a pale Brit so I am also the tannest of the bunch.  Christen calls it my "unemployment tan" seeing as though I had a lot of time sans job to hang out at the beach (accurate).

Niko njaa cama kiboko
It means "I am a hungry hippo". I blurted this whilst getting harassed by a group of souvenir hawkers and was rewarded with seriously confused looks followed by mutual laughter.

Statues of the world, prepare yourselves
I've already ridden a lion and an elephant statue.  Many more to come.

Goodbye/You're Welcome confusion.
The words are kind of similar in Swahili...in that they both start with a "k".  I accidentally mixed them up so have been telling people "you're welcome" when leaving their shops.  Like, "you're welcome that I graced you with my browsing presence."

Name game
We decided that certain people have the wrong names.  I.e. Fred doesn't look like a Fred, Jessee doesn't look like a Jessee, Martina doesn't look like a Martina, Darrell doesn't look like a Darrell, Doug doesn't look like Doug, etc, etc, etc.  Hence, we changed their names which is adding to the confusion over people's actual names in the first place.  Then me and Christen were given shitty names, so we changed our minds and decided the whole thing was a bad idea.

Scantily clad gorilla trek
Me, Christen and Darrell decided it would be ridiculously hilarious if we went gorilla trekking in just our bikinis & hiking boots.  Darrell would wear his neon green Borat mankini, obv.  The gorillas would go...ahem..."ape shit".

Sleepy peepy
We've taken quite a few photos of people caught sleeping throughout the trip.  Fred was literally passed out at a 90 degree angle on Rachel's shoulder, but unfortunately no one had a camera to capture the moment.  We are going to upload them to the Exodus website as our sarcastic review for the trip.

What I've been up to

Ok, fine, I will write an actual post to keep people in the loop.  I plan to make each of these types of "update entries" relatively short because no one likes to read long, rambling blogs.  Just like no one cares to see all 5,000 photos from your trip.

• I traveled for 26 hours from LAX to NBO.
• I arrived in Nairobi on the morning of the 4th.
• I stayed in a cute guesthouse (the Sandavy) and slept most of the day.
• I met up with my tour the morning of the 5th.
• We drove to Lake Naivasha via the Great Rift Valley.
• We took a boat ride and saw hippos a mere stone's throw from our campsite.
• I woke up laughing at the hilarious hippo noises in the morning.  
• From the 6th through 8th we "excursioned" over to the Masai Mara game reserve.
• We spent about 2 day's worth game-driving and saw a ton of stuff.
• We've seen 4 out of the "Big 5" so far.  Only rhinos are left.
• We took a visit to a local Maasai village.  Cool, but a little awkward as it almost felt like a human zoo with all the white tourists snapping pictures of the Maasai. It's mutually beneficial, tho...
• I learned some Swahili.  Mostly greetings and niceties.  I am learning how to say "I am a hungry hippo."
• We head to Lake Nakuru today.  The campsite we'll be staying at is known for a lot of man-eating things, so I will hold off on drinking anything after about 3pm today so as to avoid having to leave my tent in the middle of the night.

Hippo Haiku

Pink-bellied and huge
Muddy, wet, snorting, pig-like
You silly hippos

Losing my Virgin virginity

Virgin Airways, that is.  I imagine this is what air travel was like back in the '60s.  Straight up classy.

------
" 'ello, love, welcome aboard. You've got a window seat! Jolly good! Straight away toward the rear and on your right."
------
"Would you like some tea, love?"
"No, thanks, just some water would be great"
"I see you've got a water bottle there, I reckon you'd fancy a fill-up?"
-----
"Could I trouble you to put your seatback up for landing, love?"
------
"It's been splendid having you on board, love.  Cheerio!"

Clean unders and a sense of adventure

That's all I'm really gonna need.  And probably some bug spray.

So my "Final Thought", a la Jerry Springer, is this:  life happens.  You can cash in on it or just let it pass by in a haze of cube walls, shopping malls and pub crawls pointless monotony.  I'm choosing to take this bitch to the bank! The World Bank heyoooooo!

First stop: Kenya.

Let me be clear

If you haven't already deduced, there will be no real substance to this blog other than cranial diarrhea as I happen to be in front of a computer.  Perhaps a gem of an insight or short story every now and then, but mostly just brain waste.

1+1=58008

Someone please explain this math to me:
1 4 x 6 photo of "Natalie plaid" (aka a grid of 6 identical photos of my face) = $13
1 4 x 6 photo of anything else = $1

Clearly the passport photo industry is made up of shysters and 58008

(if you had a calculator in 3rd grade, you should know the 58008 reference)

Dolphomania!

Today was one of those days that will forever be seared into my memory.  I had an unreal dolphin encounter while surfing at Emma Wood.  Matt and I went out for a morning sesh and got pretty discouraged by the beating we were taking.  I decided to paddle out past the pounding breakers and take a minute to chill.  While catching my breath, I noticed a few dorsal fins in the distance.  Once I determined they were not sharks, I decided to rub the side of my board to make a squeaking sound, not really thinking anything would happen.  Holy hell was I wrong.  The dolphins literally stopped what they were doing, turned 90 degrees toward me and swam full force in my direction.  I distinctly remember saying "ohhhhhhhhhhhhmygod" out loud to myself and immediately propped my feet up on my board...not gonna lie, I was mildly freaking out at the sight of a pod of dolphins b-lining it right at me.

Three of them came up for a breath about 5 feet in front of me and then dove under and surfaced just beyond the tail of my board.  Matt was on the beach watching and told me he saw their grey bodies swimming through the swell under me as I was floating up at the crest.

For the next 15 minutes or so, I continued the board-squeaking and the dolphins continued to check me out, doing all kinds of aerial acrobatics as if they were showing off.  I'm talking full bodied, full frontal, flinging themselves out of the water.  I could hear them coming up for breaths, I could hear them making their echo-locating noises and I could see all the details on their shockingly massive bodies.  I swear I made eye contact with one of them.  I just kept screaming "oh my god! no effing way!" and grabbing my head because I could not believe what was happening around me.

Matt quickly paddled out to get in on the action and we stayed another 30 minutes hanging out with these guys.  There were multiple groups of dolphins, with what I'd estimate at around 15 total going back and forth between their breakfast session and checking us out. 

It's one thing to swim with trained dolphins in a pool at Sea World or see them from about 20 feet up from the deck of a catamaran, but it is a whole other thing to get to interact with them at such a close distance in the wild.

NATURE!!!

Soiled Pants

Living out a dream : excitement :: realization that year-long RTW trip is under 2 weeks away : pants-shitting